Turmoil on the Inside
August 27, 2009
Hey you,
I really didn’t want this blog to be my emotional punching bag but it’s become quite therapeutic for me. I’ve been able to have a conversation with the world and just say what I feel without feeling like I’m being judged.
The joy of a new life entering this world with my nephew was such a lovely experience but the thought of having our own is always on top of my mind. We’ve been trying for a few months now and it feels extremely frustrating to not get pregnant. I’ve been counting days as well as doing fertility tests too, but to no avail.
My girlfriend, who has been trying too just told me that she got a positive test, I was thrilled and excited that she had the positive result, but deep down, I wished that we could go through this pregancy together, even though we were so far apart in distance.
I pray and hope that we do get pregnant soon but who am I to force nature?
Mr. Man is forever supportive. He knows that I get a bit sad for a few days after I get my period and a negative test result. It’s just seems horribly hard, that’s all.
We’ve started to discuss IVF, I don’t really want to go into using Clomid (super ovulation drugs) or IUI. Perhaps we’ll wait until next year to get to the IVF stage. I still want to complete a diploma and go to school too, so perhaps I can try IVF after I finish school.
It’s such a hard road but I will endeavour to complete it, one way or another. God willing.
oxox,
S.
